Late Night Takes On Joe Biden’s Cold Shoulder in New Hampshire


“Yep, the New Hampshire primary was held today and good news — if anyone’s in the market for some Joe Biden campaign merchandise, I think it’s about to get a whole lot cheaper.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Based on a lot of polls, Joe Biden was on track to finish the night in fourth or fifth place. I’m not saying Biden is in trouble, but the coronavirus is polling ahead of him, you know?” — JIMMY FALLON

“Today, Joe Biden said that Mickey Mouse could run against President Trump and have a shot. Then Biden found out that he was polling third behind Mickey Mouse.” — CONAN O’BRIEN

“Before the votes were even counted tonight, Biden and his wife flew out to ‘a South Carolina launch party.’ Doesn’t exactly sound confident. That’s like a guy on his wedding saying, ‘To love, honor and cherish till death do us part. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“And since it was Joe Biden, he didn’t really leave early as much as wander off. It’s like, ‘Joe? Where’s he going?’” — JIMMY FALLON



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